How It All Began: A Journey Back to Myself

I found myself picking up the pieces of my life after a complicated marriage that had drained my soul. I wasn’t alone—I had my little golden boy, Miguel, by my side. At just one year old, he was facing severe developmental delays and needed extra care. This was, without question, the most challenging period of my life.

I had so many questions swirling in my mind. Why had I failed—as a wife, a woman, a Christian, and a mother? Despite the pain, this chapter of my life became the greatest challenge I’d ever faced. It forced me to question my beliefs, tear down old paradigms, and rebuild myself from the ground up. Through this process, I confronted my fears, grew in unimaginable ways, and discovered a strength I never knew I had.

In the darkness of those days, I began to notice small, golden moments of sweetness. They would appear suddenly, like tiny windows of relief. I felt them in my body while breastfeeding, watching Miguel sleep so peacefully, or seeing him mimic my yoga practice. Even small victories, like making it home just before a storm, felt like miracles.

These moments—though fleeting—were powerful. They offered me brief escapes from guilt and confusion, filling me with a sense of freedom and clarity. I knew I needed to learn how to cultivate these glimpses of joy and make them last. That realization set me on a journey of healing.

I sought answers in therapy, yoga retreats, religious explorations, temple visits, Ayurveda, and books. Above all, I found solace in meditation—a practice that felt like coming home to myself.

As I worked on nurturing these golden moments, gratitude began to overflow in my life. I started asking new questions—not “Why did this happen to me?” but “What can I learn from this?” My shame and guilt transformed into humility and resilience, and my sorrows turned into self-compassion.

I realized healing is not a straight path; it’s a spiral of growth and discovery. But as I embraced this journey, life began to unfold in ways I never imagined. Positive synchronicities emerged, and my bond with Miguel deepened. When I requested a new evaluation for him, I was overwhelmed with joy to learn he no longer had developmental delays.

Even now, in moments of doubt, I remind myself of this miracle and feel my soul resonate with truth: miracles are real.

This takes me back to when I was pregnant with Miguel. A doctor once told me he had air trapped in his tiny heart. Leaving the hospital, I felt devastated. But at home, I prayed more deeply than ever before. When Miguel was born, his heart was healthy—a miracle I will never forget.

Miguel became my light in the darkest times. I sang to him every day, his pure existence dispelling any negativity. I made a choice then: I would do everything in my power to become the best version of myself—for him.

We celebrated life in the simplest ways. I’d bring Miguel’s toys to the living room, put party hats on them, bake cakes, and play music. His joy was contagious. When he danced, he’d close his eyes, smile wide, and move his little legs to the beat, completely immersed in the moment.

These small celebrations taught me that joy is not something we find—it’s something we create. Every dance, every improvised cake, and every party hat reminded me that happiness is born from the present moment, even in life’s hardest chapters.

In my meditations, I began recreating the same feelings of gratitude and joy I experienced in those golden moments. I visualized them, amplified them, and let them fill me with a sense of abundance, connection, and health.

That’s when I realized we can nurture positivity and transform our lives. Those little daily celebrations became more than just fun—they were a practice of honoring life.

For me, that’s the ultimate miracle: the ability to cultivate joy, gratitude, and love every single day.